


The Hunger Games: A Love Story

by FritzAsPritz



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Humor, Parody, SYOT, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-04
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 15:04:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FritzAsPritz/pseuds/FritzAsPritz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because everyone knows that you only go into the Hunger Games to fall in love, right? Wrong, and the Gamemakers make sure that they set it right... A fic to make fun of the Submit Your Own Tribute fics that litter the Fanfiction fandom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hunger Games: A Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> I had originally posted this on Fanfiction, but it stupidly was deleted just because it had SYOT in the summary (which is ironic because my other real SYOT fics were not deleted). Any way, I decided to post it here instead. 
> 
> So this came about because I was looking in the fandom found a lot of SYOT stories that somehow revolve around love or falling in love even though you are doomed to die. What is it about the brutal and bloody Hunger Games that makes you want to fall in cute little childish love and be happy for the rest of your life? 
> 
> I am not immune to this Love Games madness, but I thought it would be fun to screw around with the idea.

This is the setting for the most heartbreaking tale of the star crossed lovers. The annual Hunger Games reaping. You have just professed your undying love to the boyfriend/girlfriend you have been with for an entire week/convenient one year anniversary/since you were children or even the girl you just so happened to love for no complete reason other than she is really hot. Your escort, mayor, and mentors are on stage talking about stupid stuff, but you don’t care because you are in so much love! Then, the horror: your “true love” is reaped.

You cry and yell and consider for a moment killing yourself. But then you realize that you should volunteer for the Games. Better die in the arena with him/her than have to suffer the rest of your poor pathetic life alone. (This logic makes no sense, by the way. Since when has it been acceptable to willingly go to your death for a person you may or may not truly and unconditionally love as a teenager? Yeah, it isn’t. Besides, you are still young. It’s not as though there aren’t hundreds of others out in your district.)

Besides that fact, you somehow manage to survive for the entire Hunger Games, even though you have no experience what so ever, the Gamemakers show compassion (strange considering they kill kids every year) and let you live with your lover. But alas when one of you die, the other finally kills themselves or allows themselves to die as well. And everyone sobs for the two young lovers…

But then they forget about them and continue their lives.

Statistical evidence of my own creation has shown that this somehow appears once every year of the Hunger Games (or siblings or they don’t volunteer and somehow both manage to get reaped, because out of all the people in your district they had to choose your one “true love”). 

So one year, the Gamemakers decide that enough is enough. Their beloved Hunger Games is not where doomed love goes to die. It is so they could kill little children. And so, they decide to create a special Hunger Games (because they do that all the time too, apparently). One such Hunger Games where the two children chosen are in love or have a chance of falling in love with another tribute (even if their personality hates the idea of falling in love, the Gamemakers will make the conditions so intense that they have no choice but to fall in love).

The twenty four children reaped (since it is impossible to remember everyone’s name every year, let us call them Marys and Garys…) were sent off to the Capitol clinging to their loved ones or awaiting to find a loved one to cling onto. 

At the training everyone grouped together with their loved ones and the ones without one stuck together and eventually found a loved one as well. And all was right with the world because they loved each other and nothing can quench this “feeling of completeness.” (As a side note: the word “love” appeared at least a hundred times in the interviews.)

The Gamemakers swore to go easy on these poor little tributes because who wants to ruin the hopes of every other star crossed lover in the world. Oh that’s right, they do. 

When the Games began they sought out their loved ones and didn’t fight each other because they are in as much love as you are and you couldn’t break them up (sappy and angsty teenagers…). But the Games do not work that way little Marys and Garys. 

The Gamemakers had it planned from the beginning. They knew the pathetic little doe-eyed tributes wouldn’t fight so they turned their arena into a place where love could not survive. Where you had to fight or else your love would die (and who can live without this one love right?)

The arena caught on fire right when the gong went off. Not everyone caught on fire, but the people who did ran around like crazy people (don’t they know stop, drop, and roll?). The tributes weren't sure what to do after that, so the Gamemakers helped them. They blew up the Cornucopia. They basically sent the message: you don’t want to fight each other then we don’t want to help you survive. 

The sponsors were so overwhelmed with these star-crossed lovers that they didn’t know which one to go for:  
“They were forced into the Games together…”  
“But her father was murdered by Peacekeepers and his mother died in the Hunger Games…”  
“But she’s an orphan…”  
“Hey! I’m an orphan, and I don't get special treatment.” (I don’t think anyone said that, but it would have been amusing if they did.)

So whoever survived the fire and the blow up of their supplies was left with their partner or all by themselves because their love died. A lot of people wanted to kill themselves, but they were too much of a coward to do it themselves and begged other people to do it, but who would want to kill someone (other than the Careers and they were too in love to care about anyone else). 

So they were left to suffer for a few more days and the Capitol enjoyed watching them. They moped around, hoping for death or just dying out from hunger and/or thirst. (I wanted dearly to punch one of them. Just one; is that too much to ask for.)

The Gamemakers sent their mutts out next. There was one who farted gas at people and they died. There was another who flew to the tributes, scared them to death and then threw them into the air and let them fall until they died (I liked that one). There was even one with poisonous meat so that when they did kill it (somehow even though they had no weapons) they would die from it. 

A week went by and two couples remained. (The Gamemakers did this on purpose.) There was an earthquake or something that forced the two together and they stared each other down as if the others would just turn into dust and go away. Just when they were prepared to fight it out with no weapons and with their really weak bodies, the Gamemakers did one last thing. 

If you finish off your competitors without getting hurt then we’ll let both of you live.

So they fought it out and somehow the underdogs of District Eight beat out the perfectly trained District Twos. The two hugged and laughed and kissed and were ready to go home when one other thing happened:

“Psych! You have two minutes to kill each other before we do it for you!” 

They stared at each other for one minute then argued for fifty-five seconds.   
“No, I’ll die.”   
“No, I’ll die!”   
“I have nothing to live for without you!”   
“And I do?”   
“Duh!” (I said that one.)

Then their other minute ran out and rocks fell from the sky and squished the Gary. Mary cried and cried and didn’t want to leave him, but then they dragged her back and gave her some pills to forget about the pain or something like that. (Evidently, there was another guy back at her District that she married a couple of years after the Hunger Games. See I told you teenage love doesn’t really last.)

All was right with the Hunger Games again and no one tried to volunteer with their loved ones out of fear of being mauled the same way the Marys and Garys were.

Then Katniss and Peeta entered the Games and ruined it again. Damn it.

*Finz*


End file.
